User Tools

Site Tools

Creation, The

According to the Tarvunty, Tarvu has always existed. This of course poses the question - where did Tarvu exist prior to the creation of the universes? Unfortunately, our brains are too small to even begin to work this out. Perhaps he lived in Universe C, as many have claimed.

T.P.K. Henson, the controversial, slanderous ex-Tarvuist, now revisionist thinker, stated that “Tarvu woke up with a monumental super-galactic hungover one morning and said, 'I'm bored. I need some fun. I'm gonna build everything that there never has been - and then I'm gonna get drunk again on nothingness.' (T.A.R.V.U.A.B.A). Naturally, such flippancy is pooh-poohed by most sensible thinking people.

What lies in Universe A?

As Earth lies in Universe B, there is of course much speculation about what exists in Universe A. The Tarvunty is also quite vague on this matter. In Descript**ns Cp. 5 vii, we learn:

'All matter is matter, and no Earthly matter shall exist within this twin cupola. But the breath of the Lord shall flourish here, and so shall many civilisations, namely the Jarvamulb.”

Who, or what the 'Jarvamulb' may be is also unknown, as no human has ever ventured into this other universe. Some believe the Jarvamulb to be some form of 'negative version' of ourselves. In fact, for centuries, many people believed them to be Barvuists, and that universe A is a centre for Barvuism. Many non-devout Tarvuists still say that they do not know what is Universe A, but believe that it might be hell, too.

The Tarvunnunties (a strict religious Tarvuist sect, found mainly in northern Canada) believe strongly that Universe A is Hell, and that all those who do not follow their version of Tarvuism will find their spirits being sent to Abbu, into the clutches of the Barvuist Javamulb. Their elaborate ceremonies involve much chanting of the word 'Jarvamulb', who they try to summon up, in the hope that they can steer the spirits of these alien people into the clutches of a small fire that is always lit in their chabernackles.

Some people, however, believe that Universe A is actually a paradise, and that this is where we go to when we have died.

Prij Al-Hunty, a Tunisian Tarvuist scholar has postulated (in his book, 'Universarium Tarvuutium') that there are exactly 16 universes (i.e Universe A - Universe P). Al-Hunty claims that the first 4 universes (A-D) are the ones we live in, moving about quite freely from universe to universe during our life times, without us realising. Universes E-H are those that we visit when we are ill or in a coma. Universes I-L are universes we attend when we die, and Universes M-P are exclusively reserved for top musicians and sportsmen.

Page Tools