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What is Tarvuism?

Tarvuism is a world religion that is over 3000 years old. It holds that there is one God - Tarvu - who created the two universes - Universe A and Universe B. We live in Universe B. Tarvuism is one of the oldest and largest monotheisitic religion in the world.

Tarvuism is based on the principles laid out in the holy Tarvunian book, the Tarvunty.

Who was Tarvu?

Tarvuists believe that Tarvu is the one true God. After creating the universes, Tarvu came to Earth as a baby boy over 3000 years ago. After swimming in the ocean for 9 years with the holy octopus, Oobu, Tarvu came onto dry landand entered the city of Baalb. It is unclear exactly where Baalb lay. Most scholars believe it lay between Turkey and Ethiopia. Tarvu lived and worked in this region, as a breadmaker, and later as a local government officer. He helped a lot of people in charitable work and was an expert on irrigation. Tarvu kept it secret that he was Lord God until he was 21. At his birthday party held in the Mun-Mun Valley, he announced himself as the true Deity. This is known as the 'Unveiling of Tarvu', and is celebrated each year on December 25th as Tarvu's Day. From here, his followers spread all around the world.

What do Tarvuists Believe?

The beliefs of Tarvuism are many and complex, but in essence, the religion can be reduced to just two words, 'Be nice.'

Holy animals

Oobu, holy octopus of Tarvuism

Octopuses are holy animals. Owls are also holy but not as holy as octopuses.

Dietary Laws

It is forbidden to eat calamari in any form. Or to drink sparkling water. Because the bubbles can often spell out blasphemous or rude phrases in Octish. Some Tarvuists do not eat bread.

On the two holy days of the week, religious Tarvuists eat orange coloured food is often eaten: for example, carrots, cheddar cheese, mandarins, pumpkin, tangerine,sweet potato, egg yolks, and oranges


Tarvuists are just like you and me, and wear whatever they want. However women tend to wear neck ties. Priestmunties (Tarvuist priests) wear gowns.


Marriage is holy in Tarvuism. It is traditional for women propose to men. In some cultures gay marriage is a new concept, in Tarvuism it has been going for thousands of years.


The ancient chabernackle at Ghil-Metheron, said to have contained over 1000 toilets

Tarvuist temples are known as 'Chabernackles'. Tarvuists go to Temple every Tuesday (Tarvusday) and Thursday (Tharvusday). Tarvuists read from the holy book The Tarvunty, sing hymns and also carry out private prayer in the form of songs, known as psongs which are sung silently inside the person's head.


Children are valued in Tarvuism. At the age of 9 every Tarvuist boy or girl has an initiation ceremony,called an Erbuniatum which marks the age at which Tarvu stepped onto dry land. During this they bake a special cake, called an Erbunty roundling out of, which is given to the priest who must eat it all without sipping any water. If he does, there will be bad luck for all the family.


Tarvuists believe that when you die, your soul spends 9 years in the oceans. If you survive, spiritually, you are allowed to go to Tarvupia. Tarvuists believe that Tarvupia is a giant sphere that is larger than the universe itself. It is made up of infinity-minus-one concentric circles, each one leading, eventually to Tarvu (who is positioned at the centre).


There are many joyous festivals in Tarvuist. The holiest day in the Tarvunian calendar is December 25th in which we mark the day that Tarvu revealed himself to all mankind. The days is known as 'Tarvu's Day'. Tarvuists go to temple, come home, sleep, then get up, sleep again, then have a late lunch with lots of dancing and giving of presents.

Faces of the Brave is a rite observed by many tarvunians in impoverished areas of the world and is still widely performed.

Attitude to other religions

Tarvuists preaches harmony between all religions (except Barvuism).

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