Tarvuism The Worldwide Community of Tarvuists Rejoice

Questions often asked about Tarvuism

  • Why did Tarvu create two universes?
  • No one knows exactly why Tarvu did this, however it is believed that - in Tarvu's great wisdom - he did so for the good of mankind and all of life. James Hopkirk, a well-respected Canadian Tarvuist scholar, put forward the theory that Tarvu may have only intended to create one universe, but because he made a few mistakes, started again and made another one. ('The Twin Universes of Tarvuism', James Hopkirk, Langford Press, 1977). Most Tarvuists, however believe that the two universes were completely intentional, and that, one day, what lies within the second universe will be revealed to us all, and peace shall be spread for all infinity.

  • How did Tarvu survive in the oceans for 9 years?
  • When Tarvu landed in the oceans as a baby boy, he was rescued by an octopus, named Oobu. Oobu and his family cared for the baby Lord, taught him how to swim (Tarvu was excellent at backstroke) and fed him barnacles and squid ink. They also taught him how to speak Octish, the language of octopuses. Without Oobu, Tarvu may well have perished, although, since he was the Almighty, this may not have happened.

  • Who was Amzamiviram?
  • Amzamiviram is known as the 'Grandfather of Tarvuism'. He is also the foremost Proffet. A former bell-ringer and bell-designer, Amzamiviram sheltered Tarvu early on in his life, advised him and spread his word piously throughout many lands. He lived until the age of 400, when he was tragically killed during some sports.

  • Why did Tarvu wait till he was 21 to reveal he was the Lord?
  • No one knows. However, the Proffet Amzamiviram claimed that Tarvu had wanted to wait until 'puberty had completely passed' and that he was 'totally a man', before he revealed himself as the true Lord. It is believed that Tarvu reached full puberty at the rather late age of 20, and that this caused him some embarrassment.

  • Why do Tarvuist women wear neckties?
  • It is traditional for women to wear neckties, in particular, gold coloured ones on high holy days. This practice is very old, and stems from Tarvu's beautiful wife, Binni, who wore a gold-coloured piece of cord around her neck on the day of their wedding. (Amzamiviram was best man and the party got through over 500 chicken legs).

  • Why do Tarvuists kiss each other on the nose in greeting?
  • Scripture has it than when Tarvu went to greet Amzamiviram for the first time, he slipped and ended up kissing Amzamiviram on the nose. This practice was then taken up by the populace, and has since become a commonplace, everyday greeting all over the world.

  • How do I become a Tarvuist?
  • This is very easy. All you have to do is to say Tarvu's prayer.

    Givil Message

    Tarvuists Believe

    • Tarvu is our Lord God
    • There are two universes
    • The Tarvunty is the Holy Book
    • We should all "be nice"
    • Men and women are equal (to each other)
    • Tarvu's Prayer should be said every day
    • Octopuses are holy creatures
    • Everyone has an invisible guardian from Universe A.