Scottish Rationalist Tarvuist Assembly

Controversial Tarvuist assembly set up in 1992 by modernist Tarvuist thinker,Margaret-Lionel Lenny. The assembly's HQ is situated in Edinburgh, on the site of a former sweet factory (responsible for such well-known confectionary as 'Little Owls' and 'Boomerang Billys').

The aim of the S.R.T.A - as set out in the original manifesto - is to 'further the cause of true Scottish Tarvuists, and to promote the correct erudition in the proper way of things, i.e. to enlighten all the unenlightened and to WAKE UP the 'cloth-eared' and 'doe-eyed' as to what is TRUE in Tarvuism and as to what is blatantly UNTRUE and cosmically IMPOSIBLE [sic].'

The publication of the S.R.T.A manifesto was considered an affront to many adherents of Tarvuism, not least to the members of the Givil, who tried unsuccesfully to have the building closed down (in fact, as recently as July 2006, the Givil appealed to the EU to suport their cause).

Headquarters of the S.R.T.A, Edinburgh. It is said that Margaret-Lionel Lenny has a penthouse suite on the top floor, complete with a television and DVD player built into the wall of her toilet.

Much of the S.R.T.A's work comprises local projects (Tarvu himself was a keen promoter of civic duties), such as working with the elderly, Tarvuist 'Tidy-Up' days (litter and dog faeces collecting), 'fun runs', charity events etc. As well as their community work, the S.R.T.A serves as a rationalist debating chamber to discuss key issues in Tarvuism. Indeed, the organisation has fought hard (but never won) to have some of the more - as they put it - 'outlandish' claims of the Tarvunty, and of the various chronicles and scrolls, removed entirely from the religion.

One of the more controversial issues that the S.R.T.A have debated is the story of Tarvu's 'Great Swim' with Oobu the octopus. Members have argued that such a feat would have been physically impossible, and that there is no documentary proof to back up this story. Furthermore they dispute the claim that Oobu could speak. As a consequence they have angered many Tarvuists, and in 2001, the S.R.T.A's headquarters suffered an arson attack, which destroyed much of the building. Soon after, a 26 year old man, with learning difficulties was arrested. However, when the man died the following day of a heart attack in police custody, conspiracy theories abounded as to whether the man had actually been murdered as part of a larger plot to silence critics of the S.R.T.A. Of course there is no suggestion here that the S.R.T.A would have been involved in such unsavoury matters.

The S.R.T.A consists of 33 members, each appointed personally by Margaret-Lionel Lenny. The selection process is shrouded in mystery, although there have been rumours that Lenny chooses fellow ministers based purely on their physical strength. The actor, Brad Pitt is an honourary delegate.

The S.R.T.A meets every third Wednesday of every third month, for 3 days, 3 hours, 3 minutes and 3.33 seconds.