Parchments, dictated by Tarvu to Amzamiviram. They purported to “predict everything that would happen, for ever”. (Pr*D'T**ns, 0,99-a.4)

Some notable predictions contained therein:

• The invention and demise of Concorde

• The exact date of Albert Einstein's puberty

• The dimensions of Idi Amin's master bathroom

• The lyrics to almost every song by The Kinks

• The resurrection of entertainer Bob Hope (TBC)

The original parchments are held in an asbestos vault in the Givil.