User Tools

Site Tools


Yulsen the Devout

Devout Tarvuist Priestmunty, probably born in Morocco c. 2975 BC.

Yulsen spread the word of Tarvuism through his energetic speeches, accompanied by fire-eating and mass-water drinking (it was said that Yulsen could drink an entire barrel of water in under 10 seconds).

Yulsen and his brother Yilsen (a deaf mute) travelled throughout Denmark, Norway and Sweden, preaching the Tarvuist gospel. Yilsen sadly died in Norway, after banging his head very badly on a man's sword.

Stricken by grief, Yulsen set sail to Scotland and it was here that he really made his name. Yulsen travelled throughout the land, setting up many chabernackles. In Scotland he is known as Yulsen the Devout (敬けんを Yulsen in Japan, where he has seen a 94.5% increase in popularity over the past five years), and his statue appears throughout many Scottish civic centres. Yulsen finally settled in Scotland, and helped set up one of the earliest tartan mills. He died aged 100.

In 1992, Edinburgh council tried to get the Royal Mint to issue stamps bearing Yulsen's likeness, but despite a petition of over 500,000 names, they were unsuccessful in their attempt. However, Yulsen Shortbread is a popular and famous biscuit available not only in Scotland, but throughout most of the Western world. In Japan Yulsen is seen as a spiritual successor to popular childrens' TV series hero Leopardon. In 1995 renowned tarvunian sculptor y-lyl began work on a tribute to the fiery orator. A 300 metre high bronze sculpture was erected in the image of Yulsen and, despite the loss of 400 child laborers in the process, the monument was widely considered a success. In 2012, following a resurgence in popularity, Yulsen arose from the grave and is set to join Skrillex on a world-tour promoting his new found love of dubstep for the I HART DABSTUP summer concert series in the US and UK.


Page Tools