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+ | ====== Barvuism ====== | ||
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+ | Term denoting the belief system of those who follow [[Barvu]]. To become a [[Barvuist]], | ||
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+ | It is not 100% clear as to what Barvuists actually believe, as their holy book, The [[Barvunty]] is a pretty imcomprehensible piece of work. On top of this, there are many differing [[Barvuist]] sects, each one having different [[beliefs]]. | ||
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+ | Broadly speaking, Barvuists believe: | ||
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+ | * [[Barvu]] is the true God | ||
+ | * One should not eat fruit or vegetables | ||
+ | * Water should be drunk with sugar in it | ||
+ | * When you die, Barvu makes love to you, and you bear his spirit children | ||
+ | * One should never give to charity | ||
+ | * One should never particpate in team sports | ||
+ | * Stealing is a virtue | ||
+ | ===== Barvuist Sects ===== | ||
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+ | {{: | ||
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+ | //Above: Hal-Huntl Mukburl, enigmatic 18th century cyclops Barvuist leader.// | ||
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+ | There are many [[Barvuist]] sects around the world, still operating today. These include: | ||
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+ | * The Sacred order of the Affilliate Sons - Based in Nevada, USA. Led by charismatic ex gun-runner, Jeff Holder. The group believe that they are [[Barvu]]' | ||
+ | * The Uvrab - Mysterious German sect who advocate sleeping for 20 hours a day. | ||
+ | * Temelmenty Barvul - English group, led by Marianne Wilson, a former nun. The group practice free sex, and spend Sundays blowing loudly through whistles to ward off [[Tarvu]]. | ||
+ | * The Mistakeners - Canadian [[Barvuist]] group. Advocate staying awake for one full week, then sleeping the next. Also believe in the existence of ' | ||
+ | * Muj Barvuj - Romanian group, who have mostly been imprisoned for arson. | ||
+ | * The Rotterdam Barvuist Family - Dutch group who follow the preachings of the former Cyclops, [[Hal-Huntl Mukburl]] (1780-1826). Most of the original group were hung for pick-pocketing. | ||
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